Overcoming the Guilt of Asking for Help

by Felicia Baugh

Many moms carry the weight of feeling like they should be able to do it all—balancing work, home life, and personal care—without asking for help. The idea that asking for help is a sign of weakness or failure can lead to deep mom guilt, but the reality is that no one is meant to go through motherhood alone.

This week, we’re going to explore the reasons behind the guilt of asking for help and how leaning on others can make you a stronger, more effective mom.

Reasons for Mom Guilt:

  1. Feeling Like You Should Be Able to Do It All: There’s a common belief that a “good mom” handles everything on her own. This can lead to guilt when you need to ask for help, as it might feel like you’re falling short or not meeting the expectations you’ve set for yourself.
  2. Believing That Asking for Help Is a Sign of Weakness: Many moms associate asking for help with failure, believing that needing support means they’re not capable of managing their responsibilities. This mindset can prevent you from seeking the help you need, leading to burnout.
  3. Worrying About Burdening Others: Even when help is available, moms may feel guilty about burdening others with their needs, whether it’s asking a family member to babysit, hiring a cleaning service, or seeking support from friends. This guilt can prevent you from accepting the help that could make your life easier.

Ways to Overcome Mom Guilt:

  1. Recognize That You’re Human: You were never meant to do everything on your own. As moms, we often hold ourselves to impossible standards, expecting to juggle all the roles without missing a beat. It’s essential to recognize that you’re human, and that means sometimes you’ll need help—and that’s okay.
  2. Build a Support Network: Whether it’s family, friends, or professional services, building a strong support network can make a world of difference. Accepting help from others doesn’t diminish your role as a mom; it enhances your ability to manage all aspects of your life. Surround yourself with people who can step in when you need it.
  3. Be Clear About Your Needs: When you ask for help, be clear and specific about what you need. Whether it’s someone to pick up the kids from school or just an hour of quiet time for yourself, don’t be afraid to articulate your needs. Clear communication allows others to step in effectively, and you’ll feel less guilty about seeking their assistance.
  4. Embrace Community: We’re not meant to do life alone. Embracing community is about more than just receiving help; it’s also about the joy of connection and shared experiences. When you ask for help, you’re giving others an opportunity to contribute and be a part of your family’s journey. It’s a reciprocal relationship where both you and those helping are blessed.

Scripture for Reflection:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Reflection:

God created us for community and connection. We are stronger together, and there is no shame in asking for help when we need it. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it’s an act of humility and wisdom. It acknowledges that we are part of a larger community and that together we can achieve more than we can on our own.

When you allow others to support you, you’re not only lifting a burden from yourself—you’re also allowing them to serve you in love. Trust that God has placed people in your life to walk alongside you in this journey. Release the guilt, embrace the gift of community, and know that you don’t have to do it all alone.

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